There are days when I cannot move. Not because I’m physically unable to do so but because my mind starts telling me all the things I can’t do. It will remind of my weaknesses and will question my strengths. And it used to have the power to hold me back as a person.
My inner critic was a driving force in my life until I learned to quiet it. And life has gotten so much better since then.
But as a coach, I often am reminded of the power the inner critic has over a person. Clients will sit in front of me and get this look on their face when they talk about things they want to do. And more often than not, there is this sigh. The sigh that tells such a story that I don’t even need to ask them why.
I already know.
Those feelings of self doubt, of insecurity and negativity are there lingering. And those feelings are dream crushers. They’re day to day crushers. And unfortunately, those feelings often have the loudest roar.
But there’s good news! You don’t have to fall prey to it. You don’t have to let those feelings take over. Here’s the thing. You own them. They do not own you.
Can you do me a favor? Say that out loud.
I own my inner critic. It does not own me’s liberating, isn’t it? Now let’s talk about how you can take it over completely.
When those negative thoughts pop into your head, call them out. Oh yes, you can absolutely be that woman when it comes to your inner critic. Call it out, give it a name. Roll your eyes at it and let it know how NOT important it is to you.
This might feel silly the first time you show yourself attitude but truthfully, it works. By actually dismissing the inner critic as just a know it all jerk, your brain is programmed to feel the opposite. You’ll feel more confident and in control.
What if it’s the same negative thought that comes up again and again and again. You may be tempted to think “Hey… there’s probably some truth to this!”
If you start to do that, reframe the negative thought into a truth. Try this for example. “I can’t run a marathon. I’m too out of shape.” That’s a negative thought and a negative spin. Reframe it like this. “Marathons are hard work! I need to train my body before I actually run the marathon.”
A positive spin helps keep a positive mindset.
This is something that I talk about often. The comparison game is one that traps so many unsuspecting people. But we live in a day and age where comparison and competition are alive and well. Just doing a quick search of baby’s first birthday on Pinterest will prove that to you!
Avoid comparing yourself to others. One thing that so many people forget is that every humna being is different. Thus comparison is not only unfair to you but foolish. When you see someone that does something you admire, feel just that. Another’s success does not equal your failure.
All good things come with practice. Including owning your inner critic. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. Committing to treating yourself with love and positivity is absolutely one of the best, most healthy decisions you can make for yourself.
Do you ever find yourself battling with your inner critic? Let me know how you combat in the comments!
Until next time, have a beautiful day.