A Girl’s Guide to Self-Confidence – Week 7 – The Honest Truth

For the first 6 posts in the summer blog series, A Girl’s Guide to Self-Confidence, click HERE.

Over the past six weeks, we have done our best, as mothers, to have a more positive self-image in order to be better role models for our daughters.  We have tried to focus on the real meaning of beauty, one that is a reflection of God’s standards, not our own or that of our society.

We have tried to keep in mind that words are just words and do not define us, while remembering to keep our own tongue in check when we speak.  We have tried to learn from other confident women who boldly share their stories and struggles, in hopes that someone will grow from what they share.

We have tried to be more involved in our child’s life despite our best efforts to hide our bodies, and remember that life is worth living, even if we hate swimsuit season.  And we have tried to focus on our dreams and goals, and remember that we all have talents and God-given gifts, so we shouldn’t stifle them but seek after them passionately…

We try.  Honestly, we try so hard to do all of these things and be that awesome role model for our daughters and remind ourselves that we are beautiful…
…But sometimes we don’t feel like we’re doing such a great job.  Sometimes we have bad days.  Sometimes it seems like the world is against us.
Our kids have an attitude problem.
The other drivers on the road don’t know how to merge or use a turn signal.
Target only has 2 lanes open during lunch hour when 50 people are trying to check-out.
Your drycleaning isn’t ready when they told you it would be.
Your husband forgot to pick up milk.  Again.
Seriously, life happens.  We’re not perfect, nor should we try to be.
A true story…
As I sit and type these words to you, I am struggling with finding the words.  I woke up an hour later than usual this morning, so I didn’t have time to wash my hair or fix it.  It’s piled in a messy ball on my head.  My skin is breaking out and I’m so bloated I can hardly button my jeans because I’m about to start.  The hormones raging in my body at this time of the month have made me a bit cranky.
I had two run-in’s this morning with two very horrible customer service reps at two companies I have now ceased to do business with, because they don’t know how to be helpful at all.  I have several unfinished projects waiting for me at home that I would much rather be working on than sitting at my desk in my office all day, staring out a window covered in spider webs and dead bugs.
My oil needs to be changed like, a month ago.  The hubs informed me that he needs brakes on his car today.  My daughter has been gone for over a week (with the exception of Sunday night, which was nice) and I miss her.
Did I mention that I’m bloated and cranky?
Life.  Happens.  Whether we like it or not.
Throughout this series, I have done my best to maintain a positive, uplifting vibe in hopes that I would encourage you to try to do the same.  Truth is, I’m not always positive and uplifting, and I bet neither are you.  Or your kids.
It’s OK to have a bad day.
It really is.  I’ve had to keep telling myself that all day today.  I hate being in a bad mood.  It’s not “me”.  I’m almost always in a good mood with a big smile on my face, counting my blessings that continue to increase exponentially.  I normally walk with my head held high, freshly shampooed and styled hair hanging down my back, wearing a very put-together outfit and arriving 15 minutes early to wherever I need to be.
Not today.  Today I’m lucky to have on clean underwear.  (Just keepin’ it real, folks.)
Today, I feel like this:
We are not promised sunshine & lollipops, 100% great days and smiles for miles.  We are told that there will be suffering.  There will be bad days.  Some days will be much, much worse than others.  Some bad days go on for months or even years before you see light at the end of the tunnel.  (Trust me, I wish I could erase 2011 from my history.  It was awful.)
Our character is built not in the occurrences of our day-to-day, but in how we handle the speed bumps that inevitably come our way as we cruise down the roads of life.
Back in October of 2012, I participated in a 30-day challenge on thoughts hosted by Crystal Wilkerson.  It was a fabulous challenge that essentially taught me to be more mindful of my thoughts and realize just how powerful they can be on my life.  One particular journal prompt that I think really relates to what we are talking about today is this:
Do you notice that?  I can honestly say that I have had some pretty ugly feelings about myself today.  I’ve allowed those feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness, and mediocrity creep into my head.  My confidence is zapped and I just want to crawl home, slide into my sweatpants and oversized t-shirt, and let the world go on without me.
Pretty pathetic, right?
Yep.  I know.  But it’s real.  And as women, I truly believe we have these days way more often than men, simply because that’s the way we are wired.
But it’s OK.  I promise.
It’s OK, as long as you remember that the bad days do not determine who you are.

Here’s what God says:

Be courageous!  That’s God’s way of telling us to have confidence!
So, don’t beat yourself up when you have a bad day, or a bad week, bad month or bad year.  Realize that bad days are part of life, but how you deal with them determines your character.
Also realize that everyone has bad days from time to time, so be gentle with others.  You never know what battle someone else is fighting.
Now it’s your turn:
– What are some things you do when you feel down to pick yourself back up?
– How has this series changed your feelings about yourself?

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I'm Kirsten & I'm happy you're here! Sweet Tea & Saving Grace supports women seeking to find balance in the busy, deepen their faith, and instill joy and love in their homes, lives, and blogs by providing encouraging and inspiring content and valuable resources. My prayer is for you to leave here better than when you came. Be blessed!