Have you ever been called to do something? I mean, a calling placed on your heart by the Lord, and you know without a doubt that God put it there because it’s not something that you would ever consider on your own, and it’s such a strong calling that you can’t ignore it.
Sometimes callings are more like whispers, though, don’t you think? God whispers a little something in your ear, and all of a sudden, you start to see traces of that calling all around you – in your daily devotions or Bible studies, in your pastor’s Sunday sermon, or maybe in unlikely places like the grocery store or coffee shop. These whispers are like a little spark that ignites a fire inside of your soul, one that continues to build and take shape until you can no longer deny it.
You see, after I got over the initial heartache of walking away, I started to realize how selfish I had become. This blog had begun to consume me – consume my time, my energy, my thoughts, my finances… My entire world revolved around my blog post schedule. I only wish I was being overly dramatic, but it is an unfortunate truth. The further away from the blog I became, the more I realized that I was wasting these talents and passions that are the spiritual gifts from my Lord. This blog wasn’t supposed to be a means of drawing attention to myself. The attention that I was getting, however, was very addictive, and I loved being recognized for my efforts. (Don’t we all?)
I had to take a giant step back.
Back to the quiet of my livingroom in the early morning hours of a random Saturday, when I can finally take a breath and read His Word in the stillness of the day, without worrying about which craft I need to complete, or what supplies I need to buy, or what post I need to amplify across all of the social media channels.
Back to the evening moments, just before my daughters bedtime, when I would sit down at the foot of her bed and spend about thirty uninterrupted minutes talking about her day, her life, her heart, rather than rushing to tuck her in then rush back to my craft room to finish up a project.
Back to the arms of my loving husband, who thrives on time with me on the couch watching Netflix, doing nothing else but staying wrapped up in him for those couple of hours, rather than sitting next to him with the laptop in my lap, multitasking my little fingers to the bone.
My life needed my attention, and the blog was taking me away from all of it. I had become consumed by my own desires, rather than listening to the heart’s desires the Lord had given me.
Over the past couple of months, when all was quiet and I was finally still, those little whispers began to creep in. I started to read more of my Bible, and really study the verses instead of giving them a once-over. I started to look forward to the daily emails from my favorite Christian blogs, and I would pour over their posts, soaking in the inspiration and encouragement they offer. I started seeing traces of these little whispers in my daily life, and began praying for God to lead my heart so my feet would follow.
The other day, one of my sweet friends sent me a link to a conference that I had never heard of – The Influence Conference. Here’s a blurb from their website:
If you’ve ever wondered how or why the Lord was going to use you in your home, work, community, or online – Influence is a fantastic place to connect and learn. We believe that God has given you influence right where you are, for one purpose: to make much of Him. At Influence we’re going to dig into the common thread of all of us – the Good News. We plan on doing a little teaching, talking, sharing, and celebrating concerning the ways He might want to use you on the individual platforms He’s given.
Ok, this was a louder whisper. I couldn’t help but get a little excited. I didn’t ask for this information, but the Lord used my friend as a communicator to get this to me. It’s exactly what the Lord has been whispering…guiding my heart.
Now, the way I see it, the Lord breathed this blog into existence four years ago, and I did what I did with it for those four years. Nothing is an accident with the Lord, so He had a purpose. Occassionally I would share things about my faith, and encourage people with scripture, but it wasn’t the prominent feature of One Tough Mother. I focused on crafts and organization mostly, and that’s fine. In those four years, though, I was learning. I was learning how to blog, how to make this space beautiful, how to gain a following, how to market to potential readers, how to connect with other bloggers, etc. I didn’t gain all of this knowledge on accident. God had a purpose.
He just needed to redirect my heart in order for my feet to follow.
Where is all of this going, you ask? Well, I’m not 100% sure to be perfectly honest. The Lord isn’t finished with His whispers. I may pick up blogging again – either here at One Tough Mother, or on an entirely new blog that I have yet to create. It may just be my voice you hear on these pages, or I might reach out to some other fabulous Christian women and have them be regular contributors. I really don’t know. Or, nothing may come of this, and that’s OK, too. I will be faithful with whatever the Lord supplies.
For now, I just wanted to pour out my heart on these pages. It is my hope that someone who is feeling lost or broken at this moment will happen upon my blog and read these words, and be inspired. The Lord whispers to us all the time, but most of us are too busy to hear Him. He has a purpose for each of us, and nothing that happens in our lives is an accident. The good, the bad, the ugly – it all has a purpose. I’m waiting for God to show me a more clear direction, but I’m starting to feel like He is pouring into me the desire to encourage others through social media. I have no idea what shape that will take, but I know, if the Lord wills it, it will be awesome. And I am humbled beyond words to be a tool in His project.
I’d love to hear your thoughts – the callings you have had, inspiration you find in your day-to-day, etc. Please share as you feel led in the comments below.
Kirsten, what a beautiful post. The Lord does work in many ways to help strengthen us. The Lord has spoken to me as well. My blogging recently has really been cut back….my focus is my family and my parents. Unlike your moment in December, God spoke to me by helping me to prepare and get ahead with my blogging in November (evidently in preparation for the huge events that were to come). Then, he totally cut off my creativity….he forced me to slow down and virtually stop. My parents are settled and things are returning to normal and hence, he has returned my creativity.
You are an amazing woman….you definitely inspire all of us each and every day!
Marilyn, THANK YOU! Thank you so much for just always being so sweet and supportive. It’s amazing what God will take away or add to your life to get your attention. I’m proud of you for realizing it was Him, and you listened! That’s such strength! I’m so glad your parents are settled, too – what a blessing, and I know it’s a big relief for you. Love ya!
I love this post! My husband and I just left our church, his job and all our friends to follow his calling to seminary! Right before that we found out we were expecting baby #2 when Baby #1 was just 7 months old.
Molly, what courage! Oh my gosh, for the two of you, as a team, to go out and follow the Lord’s call for your life so fully and willingly, trusting in Him completely – wow! What a testimony! The Lord has amazing things in store for your young family, I can feel it in my bones!
“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us RUN WITH ENDURANCE the race that lies before us, keeping OUR EYES ON JESUS, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” Hebrews 12: 1-2 HCSB
God bless you and your family Molly! I’ll be praying for y’all!
Wow, your post was just what I needed. I know god is trying to reach but I don’t know how to hear him. He spoke to me once telling me to focus back on my home and not the next money making scheme. God will make sure we don’t loose all in this recession and I have to believe that. So I took a step back and things started getting better, only the little things though. But it’s a good feeling. Thank you for your post, I he I have the courage to walk away from the things that mask my heart from god.