It’s nearly that time. Valentine’s Day. The day for hearts and chocolates and flowers and love. Yep, rapidly approaching. If you walk into any store, you’ll find heart shaped boxes of candies and little packages of character laden cards for children to share at school.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably eyed those boxes of chocolates and wondered if your husband will be surprising you with one. (And if you’re really like me, you bought one for yourself anyway. Just in case. Because chocolate. And self care.) Maybe you’ve even thought about restaurants that you’d like to go to on the big day or even a meal you’d like to make for the big day.
Or maybe you’re looking at these glaring displays of commercialized love and feeling less than excited about it. Maybe you even feel a sense of skepticism. Or sadness. You feel like “Meh. He never does this stuff for me. And we’ve been fighting. And I’m just frustrated with all of this rose tinted glasses optimism.”
Sister, I hear you.
See, it’s very easy for us as human beings to quantify love with materials. We are constantly bombarded with jewelry ads, telling men to show his love with crystal clear diamonds and extravagant bouquets. But we, the women, are the ones that really see them. We’re the ones that have that thought planted in our minds that our spouses gifts somehow show the depth of his love.
But why? Since when did love have a true measure? And why does Valentine’s day get to be that day where we “size it up?”
Marriage is hard. So often we feel like we need to go it alone. We don’t seek help or guidance because that makes us appear like we are “less in love” than we should be. And that means that we can often eliminate the one factor that can set a solid foundation for couple.
Don’t roll your eyes, I’m not saying that couples should give up on couples counseling or showing each other affectionate gestures. What I AM saying is that we need Jesus in our marriages.Since when did love have a true measure? And why is there a day where we “size it up?” Click To Tweet
We need to keep Him in our hearts and our minds during the good times and the bad. Because Jesus, my dear friend, is the one that truly embodied selfless and knowing love. He is the example that we need to follow. And He is the backbone of every marriage out there. The one that lends patience and understanding when we’re running short. The one that nudges us to act when our spouses are low and need support.
Jesus. All Him.
Now chances are you’ve heard this before. “A three stranded cord is not easily broken.” But how does that apply to Valentine’s Day? How can we put Him back at the center so that we can love fully and receive love fully?
Make the Day About Giving.
Yes. It’s perfectly acceptable to be excited about what surprises your spouse may have in store for you. But instead of focusing inward on this day, take a cue from the Big Guy Himself. Focus on how you can show your love to your husband.
I’ve heard from men and women that Valentine’s Day is a “woman’s holiday.” Who says? Men love to be loved on just as much as we do. Take time to show him how much you care, even if it’s as simple as making him his favorite treat.
Early in my marriage, my husband bought me a whisk for a romantic holiday. A whisk. Oh, how I giggled! He looked at me with eager eyes, looking for confirmation that he did well. I’ll admit, I was surprised that on a romantic holiday, he bought me a whisk but I knew it came from his heart.
He’d seen me complaining about my old whisk and knew I wouldn’t buy myself a new one so he bought me one. And bless his heart, he researched to make sure he got me the best of the best.
Was it a diamond bracelet? No. But it showed so much more love. Understand that God gave us different ways of showing love. Your husband’s may be different than yours and that’s okay!
Can I tell you the one thing I do dislike about Valentines? It so often turns into a “me me me” holiday. Go against the grain and pray WITH your husband.
Pray that you’ll grow together. That you’ll get through the good times and bad together. That you’ll love eachother more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Pray over challenges. Pray in gratitude. Thank Jesus for bringing you together in this crazy world.
Instead of seeing one another as separate people, which you clearly are, recognize that you are a unit. Jesus brought you together for more than a bouquet of flowers. He brought you together to do incredible things.
Take Valentine’s Day to be together. Do things together. Make it about being unified and loving not just each other but the people you are when you are together.
And always keep Jesus at the center. Because He truly will be the strength and the love that will create satisfaction in your relationship.
Even more so than chocolate hearts.